This is a little, bothering. I was trapped inside the house with my grandparents and now school’s starting and I have this strong conviction that I’m just not going to make it. How did I get that idea? I don’t know.

What really worries me is that there’s a play I’ve been trying to write. Or, tried to. Three times. I have it all planned out in my head, or thought I did - three times. I re-wrote it 3 times. Each time I didn’t want to come back to the older copy because I didn’t like it, so I made another one.

But then I came back another time and did the same.

I wrote “a thought on a monday morning” in one sitting. I wrote tons of haikus, again, in one sitting.

I wrote every single blog entry (with the exception of a few) in, yes, one sitting. I had about 7 drafts, but I never got myself to go back to them.

I did Heat in, you guessed it, one sitting. I did Butter + Life in… Hmm… two sittings, though practically it was one, the other was was just photos lying on my harddrive.

I’m very worried about my extended essay. Very worried because I am unable to stick to one topic no matter what I do. That’s exactly why I failed my personal project the first time, and just barely passed the next year.

I often wonder what I’ll do without an IB-anything. Sure, I have that MYP diploma, what’s that good for anyway? But… I’m worried. I’m very worried. I can’t stick to one subject, which makes my long term assignments into disorganized blobs.

I made a plan my extended essay. Revised it 4 times since then. I don’t even know what it’s supposed to mean now, I don’t like it, i don’t want to follow it.

Again. I’m worried.

Why is everything I write so awfully bland?

Just now, the strangest thought occurred to me, for absolutely no reason at all - a flashback from years ago, all the way to 7th grade. In Israel.

Brainwash, oh, sorry, indoctrination, is of course everywhere.

The only way to really get over it, I would say, is by a change of context. Possibly the best thing that could ever happen to anyone is to be torn away from where the were born and move somewhere else, I’m not kidding. To grow up one place and mature someplace else, just to get a proper perspective.

I was in 7th grade back in September 11 2001. A day known for one thing which will in turn change things as we know them - in the mind of the average republican anyway.

The average Israeli worships the US, anything to do with it, anything with the slightest relevance. Of course, after that day, it would seem to them, that the US became just a little more like Israel. To be honest, it probably did a little bit - hey, the conservatives did stay in office.

And so some teacher, I think, said something rather awkward in retrospect. “There’s been a conspiracy that the Jews sabotaged the world trade center,” she said, “but the reason why they were absent that day was because they all went to a certain funeral.”Wait a second, what? Citation needed, don’t you think? Of course there’s going to be conspiracies, but what kind of a crappy excuse is that?

Reminds me of something my history teacher at the time said, that “Jews were hated in Europe because they were” according to him, “better in every way.” It all just clicked in my mind: I was being very obviously brainwashed constantly. That’s education for ya’.

Among other things, this awful brainwash (that is, education) included: The bible (the old testament of) was taught as factual and true.

That polytheists are primitive. Give me a break, it’s all the same. Who am I to tell others that their religion is defective?

That circumcision is not only good, but it’s also required and does not reduce sexual pleasure; uncircumcised males will have problems at some point, it’s disgusting, etc. But of course, it’s not really endorsed by urologists (anymore, as far as I know) and is only done is certain cases of infection if anything - it’s rare anyhow and easily treatable.

Hey, but that’s education, I guess? Or is it just the horrible crushing majority of Jews in Israel? Pluralism will not exist for at least another 2-3 generations ahead.

I’m off the bandwagon, lucky for me. See you then, Israel.

The nationless drifter holds dual passports, one of which grants him government subsidies, and free tuition, the other which grants him the right to stay in a certain place for as long as he would like to. He uses local laws and takes advantage of EU policy. Nowhere is home for the proletariat drifter scum, as he lives on a part-time job and a subsidy.

He does legally hold two nationalities, and yet neither of them is in fact related to his current position on earth, or maybe just by a broad definition - “European.”

He makes attempts to learn the local language and fit in, presents himself as a local, or a “citizen of the world”, but hits the same brick wall - he does not fit exactly, but merely some of the time. He may hold two passports, but not want to have much with one nationality, and being very distant from the other.

His previous experiences in life, the language which he had acquired mean absolutely nothing in his current surroundings - a recently planted tree, significantly smaller than the rest in the forest. Will he ever bear fruits or repay society? That’s most certainly his plan, whether or not

Thanks to involuntary military service, a large Jewish orthodox sector, extreme weather, lack of respect for the environment and the beaurocracy’s helplessness facing these issues - I decided to take the plunge and be this proletariat drifter scum.

Luckily, I managed to get a hold of a German passport. Since Denmark is in the EU, I’m pretty much set. I am able to receive free tuition and even subsidy. Arrangements are being made, and the day slowly nears that I will come back, in 2009, or maybe even late 2008 and become a proletariat drifter scum.

To be honest, my life as a proletariat drifter scum can’t possibly be worse than my life as a local would have been in Israel. It’s just not going to work with me and Israel, we’re too different. Too different, and indeed, we must therefor break up, peacefully and quietly.

Socialism is definitely the way to go. Israel isn’t really my thing. The issue’s pretty much solved.

So that’s it, I’ll be living the next few years in Denmark, that’s for certain - most likely even the next few decades. And me, I couldn’t get any happier. I’m not alone as I am now, and knowing Danish (properly at least) would be even better.

May 2008, I finish IB. August 2008, I’m going to fight for my freedom in the battle against the involuntary military service in Israel. Then later in 2008, or even at late as 2009, back to Denmark.

So I won’t have the right to vote, like anybody cares. So long, Israel.