Damn this thing! Usually around April I’d be starting to run completely dry and simply lose the balance and the “working mindset”, and in turn enter a self-catalysing state (which spontaneously stops). It starts with me not feeling like working. Too many stimuli and too little interest.It occured to me that unless I get a “proper” grade in my IB diploma (if I don’t fail and get a certificate instead), my chances of getting into a Danish university are actually fairly low.

This brings me to a couple of a interesting points.

1. So I got an IB diploma - and…?

Unlike my classmates, I’m not going straight to university. My future isn’t as certain as theirs. What if I don’t manage to get out of the army? In that case, there’s no point in applying to a university right now. And suppose I did have to apply, I’ll probably do it in Denmark, where the curriculum is probably going to be in Danish (unless I take the odd course in English or so), so in other words, I’ll have to learn Danish. I’ll take about two or three years just to get that to a good academic level. So, 2-6 years after graduation just until I can even think about applying.

So, suppose I waited 2-6 years, I might as well go do a shitty crash-course and graduate the untraditional way. I’ll go to that length, why shouldn’t I just keep going?

2. If I can hardly make it now - will I be able to make it through a (theoretically) more demanding course?

I’m struggling, torn between meds and mood swings, grades slipping. Why is it going to be any easier on me then than it is now?

3. Working as a waiter = more than enough to live. Working as an analyst = more than enough to live.

You guessed it, thanks to socialism, the minimum wage can actually sustain me. And you know what, waiters are overpaid anyway. So I can actually stay alive and buy me all the things I need. No problem.

4. Living on student subsidies isn’t that great, unless you have savings.

It occured to me that living on student subsidies probably isn’t much fun. I know people who live like that - either their parents support them or their partner. It’s livable, just a bit under the standards.

Conclusion

Please tell me I’m wrong.