This is a little, bothering. I was trapped inside the house with my grandparents and now school’s starting and I have this strong conviction that I’m just not going to make it. How did I get that idea? I don’t know.

What really worries me is that there’s a play I’ve been trying to write. Or, tried to. Three times. I have it all planned out in my head, or thought I did - three times. I re-wrote it 3 times. Each time I didn’t want to come back to the older copy because I didn’t like it, so I made another one.

But then I came back another time and did the same.

I wrote “a thought on a monday morning” in one sitting. I wrote tons of haikus, again, in one sitting.

I wrote every single blog entry (with the exception of a few) in, yes, one sitting. I had about 7 drafts, but I never got myself to go back to them.

I did Heat in, you guessed it, one sitting. I did Butter + Life in… Hmm… two sittings, though practically it was one, the other was was just photos lying on my harddrive.

I’m very worried about my extended essay. Very worried because I am unable to stick to one topic no matter what I do. That’s exactly why I failed my personal project the first time, and just barely passed the next year.

I often wonder what I’ll do without an IB-anything. Sure, I have that MYP diploma, what’s that good for anyway? But… I’m worried. I’m very worried. I can’t stick to one subject, which makes my long term assignments into disorganized blobs.

I made a plan my extended essay. Revised it 4 times since then. I don’t even know what it’s supposed to mean now, I don’t like it, i don’t want to follow it.

Again. I’m worried.

Why is everything I write so awfully bland?