Since last night I started answering the phone thinking “please be drunk.”

Sure, my phone doesn’t get that many incoming calls. My parents every now and then, and my brother called me once last week. Besides that it only receives the occasional drunk call from some person or another.

This time I got a call from one of those people with more luck than brains asking me wether I could afford to give her 200 Kroner (~ US$36). I didn’t exactly refuse, but just told her I don’t think I have that amount in cash, and therefor I can’t give her that much.

A few minutes after hanging up I began to get increasingly worried. Maybe she wasn’t just drunk out of her mind (she sure didn’t sound sober). I decided to call back and see what’s it all about. It was about pills, “morning after pills.” I decided to offer to pay for the pills, but by that time she’d already decided to go visit one of her friends.

Reportedly, he was absolutely terrible.

Next August I’ll remind her to go get tested for AIDS, as it takes about 3 months for it to become detectable. It’s a shame, if she does get it, I won’t even be able to attend her funeral, as I’m leaving in just a little more than a year, and if she doesn’t get it - well, no lesson learned, right?

Actually, would be much better if she has to go through an abortion, and as both her parents are religious, I’d absolutely love to see that. It might sound a little crude, but to be honest, it’s probably best for her.

Moral: If you do choose to be a slut, don’t be a retard. (And if possible, do it in style.)